He had loved Lisa for as long as he could remember, completely platonically of course, but still loved in such a way that it was deeper than friendship. He wanted to tell her that this Christmas, he wouldn't be staying with her - because he was in love. He was in love with the recipient of the other blank Christmas card anxiously waiting to be written upon.
"Dammit," his cell phone interrupted his rage, as if almost prophetically. Reluctant to see who was on the other line, he pushed answer, ignoring the caller ID.
"Ryan! Hey! I'm still back in Raleigh, but I just wanted to call you before the ceremony. Can you believe it? I'm finally graduating!" the soft southern accent of the boy echoed into his ear.
He sighed, staring at the cards, still blank, yet not forgotten. "How are you though, really? No one's treating you bad?" He knew Clay would sense his angst, he always did.
"You okay, Ryan? I know I'm all giddy because of graduation and all and mom is here and Amy and everyone and"-
"Clay, now, isn't a good time," Ryan said, his finger hovering the red button to exterminate the phone call. He knew he couldn't do it.
"I'm sorry, I'll call back later. Feel better, okay?" The genuine concern in Clay's voice brought a smirk to Ryan's lips, but it wasn't enough.
"Yeah, I'll talk to you later, Clay. I Lov-Bye." He pressed the button as quick as he could, hoping that Clayton would not call back.
He sat on his couch for a few moments, contemplating what to write. He had loved Clay for as long as he could remember, before Clay even acknowledged his existence. In his mind, everything he wanted to say was complete, and when he went to put in on paper - it was as if he had amnesia. And all of a sudden, Clayton's card was perfectly clear. He began to write.
"Dearest Clayton,
I always felt as if these inscriptions in cards were a tad bit elementary. 'Don't change,' 'Never forget all the good times,' and filled with more cliches than even I can possibly imagine. But for the first time in my life, it became very evident when contemplating what this past year has meant to me.
You are, without a single solitary doubt, the greatest human being I have ever known. I've admired everything about you since day one. You've given more to other people in the past few months than most can ever do in a single lifetime. And for those reasons, I need to be completely honest with you.
I love you. Plain, and simply, I am desperately, hopelessly in love with you. And I know that you'll never think of me as more than just a friend, but please know that you are the single greatest human being to ever grace my existence, and without you, I would be nothing. I love you, more than words can possibly accomplish.
And this Christmas, I don't want to be alone. And please know that you don't have to be alone either. I will be more than happy to be with you this Christmas, and for many more to come.
Love Always,
Ryan"
And the first card was done. He smiled, knowing that he had finally figured out what it was he needed to say to Clay, and he said it - plain and simple--
"Shit!" The phone rang again, his happy place coming to a stand still. He clicked the answer button again without checking the caller ID.
"Hey Ry," Clay's voice greeted him. Ryan smiled.
"Yeah, Clay?" He winced; hoping that whatever it was wasn't going to ruin his good mood.
"I just wanted to call to tell you, that, I uh,.. I uh.." Clay stuttered, obviously embarrassed and with a lot of people.
"Well, what is it"-
"I love you," Clay whispered, immediately hanging up, leaving Ryan with the simplest sigh.
Ryan smiled, knowing, that for once - this Christmas wouldn't be spent the same. Now he just needed to figure out what to tell Foxxy.
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